2000-04-09

One time, when I first began driving, I smacked into a parked car. I hit off the car’s side view mirror, had to pull over and panicked. I think I hyperventilated for the first time that day (not that I have done it often since). It wasn’t my fault, honestly. I was driving down a fairly narrow road during one of those bad winters when it snowed three feet, froze, two feet more snow, slush, freeze; horrible stuff that made the streets even narrower.

A huge 65 wheeler came down the street, scared the hell out of the novice driver in her wide Buick and caused the distraught teen to move a bit too close to the line of parked cars. And, of course, I hit the nicest in the line, some sporty BMW or something with smooth, sleek lines and a pin stripe down the middle just to be a bit too fancy for it’s own good, strangely clean in the salted winter.

One may think that is was impossible for me to not have noticed this truck, not really a 65 wheeler, probably just an 18 wheeler in reality, probably just a UPS truck, probably just a small delivery van. No, it really was a truck, not a large one, but a truck. And it, in a certian manner, came out from no where.

It wasn’t as if I neglected to pay proper attention to the roads. I am, and have always been, a very cautious driver. I feel, know, it won’t be me, but someone else, that will cause me to get into an accident (except for the time that I hit a post in a parking garage, that was all me).

Oprah always has these shows about the danger of teen drivers where she follows a young driver on the road, generally with a car full of friends, blasting rock n roll music, screeching giggles and swerving tires. These young people think that they are invincible in a car, dangerously so.

For some strange reason, Oprah always follows females drivers despite the well known statistic that young males get into more accidents. But, you know, teenaged girls (hormones and all)are just out of control and if you let them drive with those friends of theirs, well, that is asking for bad drivers since young females have no control over themselves, made worse by being in the company of friends. No control at all. But, anyhow, I was by myself and I am a good driver.

The reason why I couldn’t see this modestly size truck barreling down a narrow street was because of what was in front of me. It if wasn’t for this one reason, I believe I would be able to say I have never been in an accident (except for the parking garage thing). And some certain people may not like what I have to say, due to the fact that I will offend their taste in cars, but in this case, I really could care less.

I was one of those SUVs, back in 1994, I knew them as 4x4s. They are too big too see over for anyone who has the decency not to drive one. You have to be able to see a truck coming down a wintry road, that is narrow, ahead of time, to be able to move just close enough to a line of parked cars, to not hit the side view mirror off of one. But, if you are behind a SUV when there is a truck coming and you don’t see the truck until the SUV has moved out of your line of sight. . .

Your line of sight. You know how it’s illegal to have like blue neon lights on the underside of your car because it’s distracting as well as in poor taste? Don’t you think that these tall SUVs that make it impossible to see in front of are as equally distracting (and distasteful)?

You can’t tell if there is a truck coming down the road that will cause you to hit a parked car. You can’t tell if the SUV in front of you is just driving slowly or if it is because they are behind a sluggish motorist. You can’t tell if the curve in the road is a gentle sensuous bend to caress your tires or one you should brake for and get ready to move your whole body into because the SUV is in your line of sight.

You are essentially slave to the rear of the SUV. You do what it does, you move how it moves. I didn’t move closer to the line of parked cars along with the SUV in front of me because I saw no reason to (because I couldn’t see at all.) I was young and idealistic; I believed I chose how to drive my car. Now older, I have to deal with the harsh rules of the road, the rule of following the bigger car, following a "leader’ that has the clear view of the road and everything around, practically from here to Iowa.

It’s a little bit economically tainted for me to feel comfortable with following someone just because they can afford a car that is taller than mine. I am a very good driver (except for that post thing) and I would like for me to decide how to drive, to have a clear view of the road.

Is it too much to ask the same people who make blue neon underbellies illegal to make it illegal for me to have to follow someone with more money and less taste in cars than me that will be in my line of sight? Is it too much to ask for me to be able to see where my car is going and not have to rely on SUV drivers? Is it too much to ask for SUVs to be simply outlawed?

Else wise I’m gonna build me a bright orange car 80 foot tall with a hot pink underbelly so that I can watch the sunset in California on my way to the late show at the movie theater.